Saturday, January 29, 2005

Playing Nurse-maid

I don't think I'll be letting TheHusband give me a shot anymore.

It was a good idea, I thought. What if I get hit by a bus tomorrow and he has to take care of me? That would include giving me these silly shots, right? I know, it's morbid and it probably won't happen, but still. He needs to know how to do it.

So I show him how to mix it all up. Wash your hands. Use the big needle and put the water in that little vial. Slower, it creates bubbles when you do it that fast. Okay. Let it sit for about 1/2 hour.

Wash your hands. Now, take the little needle and stick it into the vial. Turn it upside down. Slowly. Air bubbles, remember. Now, draw out the plunger on the needle. Slower. Slower. You're getting air bubbles. Slower. Okay, one way to get rid of some of those air bubbles is to flick the needle. Try that. Not so hard, you are creating more bubbles. Okay, let's let it sit for a bit.

Okay, wash your hands. Now, grab my belly fat. Yeah, I know, there was so much more of it a few years ago, let's not talk about that, shall we? Not there, that's where I gave myself the shot this morning. What I think we should do is choose over here on the other side. You know, morning side and night side. Alcohol swab the area. Okay, the shot has to be put in "subcutaniously", so not into the skin, but not into muscle either. Good thing I don't have a six pack of muscles in my abdomen. So, at a 45 degree angle. No... a 45 degree angle, not 80. Wait, that's closer, dear, more like 75. Keep going. There you go, not plunge the needle into me. No worries, you can't hurt me too much. It's a very thin needle, don't worry about it.

Okay. good job. Now, start pushing down on the plunger. Careful, you are moving the needle. Yeah, push it in. Not too fast. Well, okay, you can go faster. Really, faster than that, because you are moving the needle too much and it's starting to hurt. Good job dear. Yes, you did fine. Now, wash your hands.

I don't have the heart to tell him that it still hurts where he gave me the shot. And that it is quite "tight" where he gave it to me. I don't think it's supposed to do that, since none of the places I've given myself a shot are tight like that. And a big lump.


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