Sunday, April 30, 2006

In honor of the rally planned for tomorrow...

... just about everywhere, I give you a letter that is making the rounds on the internets. My brother send it to me a few weeks ago, and TheHusband received it the other day from a completely different source.

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my kids and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements.

I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on U.S. culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the U.S. flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

---
Related: As a Matter of fact, You Are A Criminal!

5 Comments:

Blogger Sorted Lives said...

Great letter. The thing that got me all hot and bothered was why were "ILLEGAL" immigrants allowed to demonstrate. They aren't citizens, since when did they get rights?? I would have like to have seen buses lined up to take them back.

I wished I had the right to do something illegal and get away with it. Oh, yeah, I forgot, I can't. Im a citizen....

5/02/2006 5:48 AM  
Blogger toobusyliving said...

Yeah, it's true. I guess that the only way these people would be able to demonstrate with any real sympathy would be if they were an important part of the US economy, tus making life better, and particularly "easier" and less labour intensive for American citizens. And just when the heck is that wall along the Mexican border gonna be finished? I saw a Senator from Colorado on the news proposing, no, - demanding the same 3 meter high wall along the US/Canada border and I can't wait.

5/02/2006 7:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are an idiot.

Very few of things on your racist list happen in the United States. Since when are police officers or teachers required to speak Spanish? When has a Mexican flag ever flown? Since when do schools teach Mexican history? And even illegal immigrants have taxes deducted from their wages.

You are a racist idiot and you live in Orlando. Which is worse, it would be hard to say.

5/02/2006 9:50 AM  
Blogger athens said...

I think Anonymous is an idiot. You didn't even say whether or not you agreed with the letter. Not that it matters, I guess. Racist (which it isn't, because this is about illegal immigrants *who just happen to be Mexican*. They could be Polish for all I care) or not, the letter made a few good points. I even reposted in on my blog.

5/02/2006 2:53 PM  
Blogger MiKell said...

Thanks for realizing, Athens, and others.

I think I said, I DIDN'T WRITE IT.

I just thought it was funny.

BTW, when did we allow "anonymous" people to post comments? Hmmmmmmmm.

I might also point out that my brother, a policeman, felt it important to learn Spanish to do his job. So many of the people he is arresting (on a daily basis) don't speak English. He lives in San Antonio.

How, may I ask, are illegal immigrants having taxes deducted from their wages if they are being paid under-the-table as day wagers? Really. How?

Also, "When was a Mexican flag ever flown?" Uhm... were you watching the first few protests? Really, were you? Down here, it happened, until someone mentioned that it was not a good thing, in this context.

Come back when you grow some balls and can be identified. Maybe then you'll know what you are talking about.

One would hope, anyway. And thanks for helping me reach over 100 visitors in one day.... again.

5/02/2006 8:48 PM  

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