Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Danger!! Danger!!!

If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!




(P.S. I'd like to take credit for this, but I can't. It was in an email from my eldest brother. Except the picture, I found that somewhere else.)

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4 Comments:

Blogger Tony said...

Well you had me with the first 3-4 sentences and then you had to go 'silly' on me. Geez, can't you pull of a joke. HEHEHE!

AND I LOATHE MICE!!!! That furry critter would be splatter all over that desk if I saw it and had access to something to swat it. Otherwise I'd be running out the door like the biggest queen.

10/25/2006 3:03 AM  
Blogger Lemuel said...

I wasn't worried at first. I thought, I can deal with this virus. But then... I read about the extreme g.i. distress. THEN I WAS SCARED! OMG! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! It's the return of gas warfare!

(Thanks for the morning smile!)

10/25/2006 6:27 AM  
Blogger Spider said...

Yea - but if it cleans off your kitchen counters it may all be worth it!

10/25/2006 6:36 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

OMG that's awesome! ROFLMAO! (and other acronyms)

The pic is too funny! And now we know a little more about Tony. ;)

10/25/2006 8:33 AM  

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