Thursday, March 31, 2005

Sad day... for sure

Terri Shiavo died today.

A sad day, certainly for her family-- up to and including her husband.

Sure. He "moved on", started another family, but does that negate his feelings towards Terri? I doubt it very much.

My father divorced my mother 20 years before he died. He married another woman within a month of that divorce. But he never stopped caring for my mother. He never once said a bad word about her in my presence.

In my own opinion, Michael Shiavo's fight to let his wife die gracefully and with dignity proves that. Doesn't matter that "some people", including her parents didn't believe him. He said that her wishes were to be let go. Who would know better than someone that was sharing his life with her?

Let's see. I am, what, two years younger than she was? Let me put this into perspective, just for a minute.

She's been in this "state" for 15 years. That would have made her 26ish. Prior to this happening, she told her husband that she never wanted to be kept alive in a vegitative state, should anything like "that" happen to her-- this was after watching some TV movie about a woman in a similar situation.

Oh... the things we say when we are young and nothing bad is ever going to happen to us.

How do I know this? I did the same thing.

You see, once upon a time, I was in the same boat. Not a vegitative state, mind you... but I was, to coin a rather adult phrase: young, dumb, and full of cum. I said the same thing to my then partner/husband. I told him to never let that happen to me. Let me go, that's what I would want.

At some point we parted ways. An nobody knew what my wishes were.

Then I met TheHusband. And found out I was HIV positive. Of course, I did what anyone would do when they find out they have a debilitating, degenerative, fatal disease. I freaked out.

Then I got over it and prepared. I wrote a will. I also wrote a Living Will. Then I gave TheHusband a copy of it. Then I gave my father a copy of it. Then I gave my siblings a copy of it. Then I gave my doctors copies of it. I made it clear what a DNR would mean to me. Let me go. Do not use the paddles on my pitiful chest for more than... say... 20 minutes at a time. Do not cut out all my innards if that is the only way to keep me going. And for damned sure, don't stick a feeding tube into my belly if that is the only thing keeping my body breathing, especially if my brain has turned to mush from all that paddle use on my chest because the freakin' paramedics took too gods dammed long to get to my house.

And I made it clear to my siblings that TheHusband is the one to make decisions regarding my care. Not my mother, not my father (before he passed away, that is) and certainly not them. This doesn't mean that I don't love and cherish any of them, but more that TheHusband has shared the last 13 years with me, day in and day out. They only know me (as I am now) from emails, phone calls, and the occasional visit.

The only reason I posted any of this nonsense is because I found the following website. It's tasteless, let's be honest. But I laughed my ass off. I laughed until I cried. I laughed until my stomach muscles hurt.

I'm not kidding.

So for the people who don't find tasteless humor funny, please... I implore you... don't click on the link. But for the rest of us? Please click away.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Politics Schmolitics

In my 2nd post on this blog (2-1/2 months ago...) I said that I might talk about politics every once in a while. I have not done so, mostly because when I DO actually have time to post anything, it has something to do with my life. You see... I don't live in Washington DC, nor any other capital of anything. I live in an unincorporated county that is Republican dominated, but surrounding a city that is Democratically controlled.

I did, however, live in DC for three years after leaving the Air Force. It wasn't the most happy time for me. But there, NATIONAL news is LOCAL news, no matter what happens in it. Just about everythig the congress did affected DC residents (like myself) on a daily basis.

That, my friends, is taxation without representation. DC is not in a state, nor is it a state of it's own. There was no representation in the Senate, and only sparse representation in the House. The "Delegate" from DC was only allowed to vote in committee, not on House Bills when they come to the entire House for up or down votes. But still, politics was in your daily life. When I was a bartender, staffers and congressmen alike would come into the bar (Hey there Barney!!). It didn't matter if they were out or not, I just served them their Vodka Tonic like any one else.

But now it seems that many Democratic "strategists" have said it is okay for Gay Men to "Out" other Gay Men (and women...) so long as those other gay men are perceived as working "against" the cause. So... when I worked at the Department of Commerce and was not "out" to my co-workers, it would have been okay with Michael Rogers to "out" me, because I worked for the George H. W. Bush Administration.

Now, according to Mike Rogers, it didn't matter that I was a low level secratary (whoopsie... I mean Administrative Assistant... that's a GS2 for those of you in the know. I made $200 a week, and that was in the early 1990's) that had no control over policy in the White House. But, because I worked a few feet away from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, it would be perfectly okie dokey to out me to my boss and my co-workers. Perfectly fine to call my place of business, my co-workers, and my boss at work and harrass them because they have a closeted gay man working there. It doesn't matter that I wasn't out at work, but only that I lived with another man in a same-sex relationship, and therefore, in his mind, I should be out and speaking out against all of the then-president's policies.

And gods forgive me if I actually agreed with anything the then-president said. Like maybe... Sadam Huesain is a bad guy. We should protect Kuwait. We need to do something about the economy. (okay... he never said that one...) No new taxes!!! (Yes, he said that, but got bribed into signing one anyway... sent up to him under the guise of yet-another democratically controlled congressional law that put the tax-raise in there).

Listen carefully.

I agree with a lot of the stuff coming out of the Bush Whitehouse, as well as our currently Republican-controlled Congress.

This does not mean that I agree with everything. I lean to the right as far as most politics go. I agee that taxes are bad for our economy. The more you tax people, the more they try to get OUT of paying them. Don't believe me? Look at your last 1040. Did you claim the interest on that house you own? Did you claim your children? Did you pay your paycheck deduction for insurance BEFORE or after you were taxed? If you paid on a cafeteria plan, you did not get taxed on that amount. Everyone does it. I understand, but when I do it, I can't say that you are a bad person because YOU do it... especially if it is legal.

The fact of the matter is... Democrats raise taxes. Then, they create loopholes so that people don't have to pay them. Republicans tend to want to LOWER your taxes, to put more of YOUR money back into YOUR pocket.

My problem with the Republican party? They won't stay out of my bedroom. I admit it. They say that my relationship with my "husband" isn't as good as their relationship with their "wife/husband". I understand that this is a problem. I don't like it when they shove their bible down my throat, either. It isn't my bible. Just because your bible says I will go to hell because I don't believe what is written in it, doesn't mean anything to me. When I die, my body will rot and turn to dust. I'm okay with that. If what you think of as my "soul" goes to what you are calling "hell", well, that's my choice, isn't it? I do not need you to save me or my soul.

So. Now. Back to Michael Rogers. "Mister" Rogers outs Republicans that he feels are working against the Gay Democratic Party. Need examples? Here's one. Here's another. Then there is the spots where he talks about former NYC mayor Ed Koch. First... who doesn't know that Ed Koch is gay? Second... do we really care? Mayor Koch didn't do anything (to my recollection... but I am a bit too young to remember him as mayor, and I've never lived in NYC) to "hurt" gay people. He's just kept his mouth shut. The only problem that Mike Rogers had with him (and the purpose of his post on the website) was that Mayor Koch was going to speak at the Republican National Convention last summer. That's it. There was no report that the former mayor was going to say anything like... "death to gay people", or "two men loving each other is not the same as a man and wife relationship" or anything else like that. Just something like, "vote republican, vote George W. Bush"... blah blah blah. Is the 80+ year old not allowed to have an opinion regarding voting for president because he is a closet homo and likes George W. Bush? I guess, according to Mike Rogers, he is not.

Sorry bucko. I am a gay man who proudly votes Republican, lives in a relationship with another gay man, agrees (more often then not) with my staunchly conservative siblings, but I vote my own mind. I didn't vote for George W. Bush in the 2004 election. Let me say that again. I am a registered Republican who DID NOT VOTE for George W. Bush in the 2004 election. My reasons for not voting for him are my own. Since this is not a political blog, I see no reason for telling anyone why. I am not trying to get you to agree with me. In fact, I don't give a rat's ass if you do or don't agree with me. I vote my own fucking mind, period.

Having said that, I also did NOT vote for the gay-vote pandering (when they are listening, anyway) Democratic nominee, either. He said to us... "I feel for your, I agree with you... you mean something to me...", but then he returned to Washington DC and voted against us. Was there any mention of this from Mike Rogers or John Aravosis about this? Good gods, no. They still believe he was our savior from the likes of the Republican party. The same way they believed that Bill Clinton was the savior of us all. Can I just mention that he created that wonderful "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy? Now more gay men are uncerimoniously kicked out of the military than when I was in the Air Force. And believe me, I know from Military Witch Hunts, I survived one. He is also the President that will go down in history as the one that signed the "Defense of Marriage Act"... Gay men who fall at their feet in his presence (much like Monica did... not that there is anything wrong with that) always forget that. They don't "out" any of his staffers...

-- oi vey. I've just realized how long this post has gotten. Let me wrap it up... ---

As you all know, there are a few links in my blogroll. Blogs that I read every day. Most of them are Republican sites. Dude, it's okay. You can read things and make up your own mind about them. That's what I do.

But GayPatriot was a bit different. He is a gay man who happens to also be a Republican, and damned proud of it, too. He started his blog to fight people like Mike Rogers. Read this, his second post.

Then, he posted this:

What was Michael Roger's reaction?

"According to GayPatriot, who is also a client of [the writer}, Michael Rogers called GayPatriot's place of employment on Friday immediately following the post above and spoke to GayPatriot's secretary and boss. GayPatriot had no idea Rogers would go to such measures and shared with me that both he and his secretary were very upset by the calls but that his boss was understanding.

Later on that day, Rogers personally called [the writer] and recounted much of the same account, adding that he had also called the police and is working with the authorities on the matter. Rogers expressed feeling threatened by the post and compared it to posts by anti-abortionists who posted the names of doctors performing them.

Rogers also said he asked GayPatriot to remove the post and replace it with a post about non-violence or he would launch a national boycott of GayPatriot's corporate employer and pursue any and all avenues necessary to protect himself. By the time Rogers had called, GayPatriot had already made the decision to remove the post and also remove GayPatriot from the blogosphere."

So. Because "GayPatriot" disagreed with Mike Rogers, he went on a campaign to hurt him where it would hurt most of us. In the wallet. He went after innocent people via his best weapon, the phone. Mike Rogers is known for getting you to say something on the phone, record it, and twisting it for his own purposes. Don't believe me? Read the entire post, via The Washington Blade reporter's blog.

Let me say this one more time. I think outing is wrong, whether one is completely out, or just a little out. Period.

As soon as I can figure out the code to let the above image remain at the top (or the side, for that matter) of my blog, I will do so.

GayPatriot deserves that. Anyone would, regardless of how I feel about their personal opinions.

Michael Rogers IS a terrorist. What he did to a fellow gay man (who has hurt no one) proves it.

Friday, March 18, 2005

I guess it didn't matter...

The little kitten didn't make it.

It wasn't really anyones fault... just a new mother and not knowing her own strength.

She went to pick him up to move him, but inadvertantly grabbed him by the throat instead of the scruff.

I can't feel any worse for her. She keeps looking in the box for the kitten and seems to be asking us where he/she is. We've removed him/her. At one point, we let her see the body, but all she did was pick him/her back up and put him/her back in the box as if nothing was wrong.

She doesn't get it and I can understand. I can barely wrap my mind around it.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Free Image Hosting at

Welcome to the world little...

Uhm... err....

Blackie? Socks? Boots? Mustache? Spot?

I don't know. Hard to tell, since at this age, I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl. That's probably why I always choose something unisex until I get to know them better.

What do I know? He/She has some white around his/her face and some more down by his/her feet. Stong lungs, and can crawl like the dickens.

I'm more worried about his momma right now. She's been sitting with him most of the time, while taking breaks by resting (in the same place!!) on my couch. But this evening, I noticed that she is bleeding from her vagina. I'm hoping it's normal, since it's not a "flowing" bleed. Just leaving spots on the slip cover. And damn it, she's peed all over it twice. I'll probably have to replace it...

Bunch of little stuff

Oi Vey...

Things are crazy right now. let's start with the house(s).

Ours is up for sale, and we've had quite a few people come to see it. I always believe they like the inside of it very much, at least their reaction tells me that they do. One lady was honest when she said the bedrooms were too small. My thoughts on this? All the houses built 40 years ago in this town are exactly the same, and she should start looking at houses built within the last five years or so.

I am constantly amazed at people who call up for an appointment and then fail to show. Dude, got a phone? If you called 1/2 hour ago to get an appointment, be a damn HUMAN and call to cancel if you've changed your mind. Why you've changed your mind is your business, but remember, you've affected an awful lot of people when YOU JUST DON'T BOTHER TO SHOW...

We received the appraisal from the bank on the new house. $20,000 lower than the asking price. Ouch. Now, understand, I knew the house was priced too high... but I didn't figure it was that much too high. We are waiting on the guys to come back from vacation in Mexico in order to deal with this. They only have until next Wednesday to reject our new offer, and the contract is null and void - and we get our deposit money back. It's too bad too, we really liked the house and the neighborhood. We went around looking for additional houses in that neighborhood on Sunday, but there are only two others. Neither did we like.

My neighbor Jack had his house broken into two days ago. This time, his house looks likes ours did after the second break in. Once again, our wonderful county deputies can do nothing. This time the little thugs hit the jackpot though. Jack had a handgun. The key word there is HAD. Because the county sherrif feel absolutely no responsibility for NOT stepping up their presence in this neighborhood, yet another stolen gun is out on the streets.

One of my stray cats was pregnant for the second time. She was quite HUGE... although she is a little thing to start with, I was still guessing 5 or 6 kittens. It was her second litter, but I never saw the kittens from the first litter. Anyhoo... she's been hanging out in my day room, ostensibly looking for a place to "nest". I pulled out an oversized cat carrier for her to use and have been directing her to that. Last night she was in there for a long time, so I took a flashlight and looked inside (you have to keep the place dark - that's what they are looking for in a place to have them). I only saw one kitten, and she was attending to it. I figured she was in the rest period between kittens. I went to bed. This morning I got up before dawn and checked on her. She was lying on the couch looking skinny (hard to tell, she's a black cat!!) so then I looked inside the carrier. I see the one kitten from last night (black, with a bit o white) and one that is still born. Sad. so sad... I'm gonna go check on her and the kitten when I am done updating this. I have to say though... where are the others?

Yesterday I went back to the doctor. I'm gonna wait on that post. I have a few choice words for the Veteren's clinic here. Suffice to say, I was not too happy.

That's all for now.