Thursday, March 30, 2006

Once again...

... why is it that I am not allowed to adopt a child? Straight people do this, but in this case, they are caught.

Thank goodness the "local news" didn't refer to this asshole as a gay man, as obviously he is not. He's a freak.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Let me know when you grow up

and have a clue.

Because, currently, you don't.

How self important are you?


It's okay to have a point of view. Hell, like an asshole, everyone has one, and most of them stink (not unlike my own, I might add).

You have a blog. Fine. You are supposed to spout off your views. But when you are saying things on your blog for the purpose of galvanizing support for your silliness, you are taking things too far.

I've told you all. I am nothing special. I am not great. I have my opinions, and you are free to agree or disagree at your OWN digression. I will not fault you for your opinions, I will not fawn over you for agreeing with me, but I will not allow a post of yours to stay up if it agrees with me, but still proves my point.

Maybe I'm not saying this right.

Go here and read the post. Then read the comments.
Welcome back.

Here's the thing.

I disagree with what he says. Let me get that out of the way. But it's his blog, and I appreciate that. Good for him.

But he says in his post he hates the behavior of "certain" people, but then applauds it in his comments section. Go figure. It's perfectly okay to say:
Unsurprisingly, they all are white males, these bloggers, these gay men whose sites are an infected rash upon the skin of the blogosphere. Some of them are no more than hate-bloggers, back-slapping and high-fiving each other in circle jerks of racism, misogyny, classism, xenophobia, and most of all, homophobia.

Yes, homophobia. Because above all, the thing that they hate the most (and if you are unfortunate enough to come across any of these blogs, hate is often the Daily Special), is themselves. These are capital "A" assimilationists, mocking the mere existence of gay neighborhoods and belittling those who reside within, ridiculing the work of GLAAD and HRC, and making vicious attacks on Pride events. To some of them, people with HIV or AIDS are promiscuous, dirty drug addicts who got what they deserved. These gay right-wingers long for a world free of openly queer culture, a world where gays live fully integrated (and therefore invisible) in their picket-fenced, cul-de-sac'd McMansions. They shout that "gay is only a small part" of who they are, yet fail to see the irony in their blog titles which use words such as "gay", "queer", even "faggot". Talk about cognitive dissonance.

These gay right-wing bloggers are also inordinately smug about their own perceived personal masculinity. Many are transphobic, femme-phobic, dagger-phobic.

But then, in the comments section, it's okay (or at least it must be, since he let them post...)
Queer conservatives keep me awake at night. Apathetic queer folk, however, run a close second to giving me fits. There are many gay folk who have just enough comfort in their lives that they tune out the problems faced by the rest of the queer community. They don’t face arrest, they own/rent a nice home, and they have a stable job. Thus, they don’t see a need to pay attention to any of the political issues facing the queer community. Nor do they imagine themselves as really part of that community in the first place.

For some, saying “being gay is just one part of me” translates into “I don’t really care what happens to any other gay person besides me except maybe the person who shares my bed.”

One thing useful about Gay Republicans is that they basically prove that being gay is biological and involuntary, because if anybody could really change, those homophobic homos would be the first in line to do so.


Gay republicans as usually tops, either flacid and/or underendowed .
No wonder they've got issues. Actually subscriptions.

and I have to end it on this fine quote:

The bloggers of which Joe speaks are so full of irony it alomost kills me. They loathe the things most while forgetting that it doesn't matter how assimlationist they are the minute a homophobe finds out they're gay, they're going to hate them just as much as they hate thier effimnate, cher loving counterparts.That's what bigots do, lump everyone in the same boat.

That my friends, is a perfect example of: a hypocrite.

Sally Field Moment

O.K. Which one of you is clicking on this site more than 60 times a day.

Really. 1000 site loads in 16 days?

I'm not sure I can handle the pressure.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

You forget who I am.

I was walking outside today, to enjoy a bit of fresh air cigarette, when Goofy Salesguy stops me.

He says, "Xxxxx" is killing me. You know who Xxxxx is??

"Yes", I respond. "He used to work for this company, but opened his own business selling a similar product, and is now going after our customer base. I've met him" (Although I did not work for the company when Xxxxx did).

"Blah blah blah blah," says Goofy Salesguy.

I said, "Well, he's selling the software as a lost leader - do you know what that means??

(Goofy Salesguy nods his head)

"So, you should sell the product better, explain why ours is better than Xxxxx's. How his hasn't been on the market as long. How ours does this and this and this, but his doesn't. Have you tested his? No? Hmmmmmm....."

"I just want him to go away..." says Goofy Salesguy.

"You could just go over to his office and talk to him, it's right over there."... as I point in the general direction. "After all, Xxxxx's company only has three people working for them, why aren't you playing that up to the potential customer? Our company has over 50 people working for it, so who can support them better, us or them?"

"Mikell, how do you know so much about his company?", he says.

My answer?

"Goofy Salesguy, I know everything. You would do well to remember that."
I didn't tell him that I've met Xxxxx in a gay bar, and that we've talked.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Be Afraid.

Be very, very afraid people.

The future of this country.

Apologies to those outside These United States, of course.

Yeah, me too: II

If you don't laugh at this, there is no reason to post it.

I laughed my (more and more) flat ass off.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Can you tell?

In between loads of laundry, changing the sheets (and washing them... silly), sweeping the floor, mopping every !@#$%* @#^%$&* floor in this house (have I mentioned that I hate this stupid tile floors?) I am doing this:

A question:

Why do people put paper up on walls?

Another question:

Why do people put paper up on walls over thirty or forty years of paint over paint over paint over paint?

I hate wallpaper.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wetback Mountain.

Tell me that you watched "The Mind Of Mencia" tonight.

If you didn't, you missed something.

Of course, I'm sure that The Malcontent will have the highlights tomorrow.


If you ain't laughing, you ain't living.

Oh My God! They've Killed Chef!!!

Yeah. So I was half right.

T.V. Land

I am enjoying the hell out of the T.V. Land award show tonight. Did you see the opening "act"?

Sid Ceasar is still funny as hell, and who knew he was still alive.

Let me just say this about that.

Someone should seriously consider having Donny and Marie restart their old show. As long as they realize that it's a spoof of their old spoof show, it should be fine.

Or maybe I'm really old and don't want to admit it.

Google Earth

TheHusband has discovered Google Earth.

The only thing I can say to him is:

Welcome to 2005.

My cats are Pissed.

We've just given them their first dose of flea medicine for the year.

They hate that.


Lately, I've been bringing lunch to work. Partly because I wanted to lose a bit of the inches around my middle section (that is soooooo not working) and partly to save a bit of the green stuff. After all, I'm spending anywhere from $6 to $15 per lunch to eat out everyday, depending on where we go. For lunch.

Another reason: The Boss wants someone in the office -at all times- during office hours. Good lord, there might be a delivery, or a customer might stop by while everyone is out to lunch (because we tend to go to lunch together, sort of a teambuilding exercise-- but that is lost on TPTB).

So TheHusband and I have a deal. If he makes it, I will eat it. Most of the time, it's leftovers from dinner the night before, which is fine with me (my cooking), but if he doesn't put it in a leftover plastic bag from Publix, I ain't takin' it.

But here is what I hate. And I've hated it for years.

People feel the need, nay, the responsibility, to comment on what I bring from home.

Uhm... why?

I hate it. It pisses me off.

Today, as an example, I brought sauerkraut, perogies, and sausages. I like them, and they are easy to make, so I make enough that there WILL be leftovers for a lunch or two. As I sat down at my desk to eat them, our new salesperson said to me:

"Do you have German in you?"

I mumbled some answer, resisting the urge to answer with an old joke. But I did wonder to myself this:

If I were eating sushi, would she have asked me if I were Japanese?

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Yeah, me too.

Or, at least I used to. You know, when I was younger.

From PostSecret.

Of course, I was in the military at the time, too.

Friday, March 17, 2006


Because it's the FIRST time she's tagged me, I'll answer Gina's challenge.

Don't get pissed, Spider.

Four Jobs I Have Had In My Life:
1. Picking things: strawberries, cucumbers, blackberries (many more, too many to mention)
2. Sitting on the roadside, selling bunches of flowers
3. Aircrew Life Support Technician/Specialist (U.S.A.F.)
4. THE complaint department for a cruise line, with major ties to a timeshare company.

Four Movies I Would Watch Over And Over:
1. Steel Magnolias
2. Terms of Endearment
3. Jeffrey
4. The Muppet Movie (the original)
(I know, I am SUCH a fag...)

Four Places I Have Lived:
1. 29 Palms MCB, California
2. Washington, DC
3. Battle Creek, Michigan
4. Okinawa, Japan
(In no particular order...)

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:
1. Charmed
2. CSI
3. ER
4. Battlestar Gallactica

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:
1. Key West
2. Las Vegas
3. Seattle
4. New Orleans

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Personal 'Blogs (too many to mention)
2. Political 'Blogs (about 10 or so...)
3. (big homo writing this, remember?)
4. (for the games... you can actually learn from them, if you choose correctly)

Four Of My Favorite Foods:
1. Steamed Lobster
2. Sushi
3. A cold glass of Milk
4. Anything TheHusband cooks (so I don't have to)

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:
1. Back "home", if it didn't rain so much
2. Europe (but only for vacation)
3. Okinawa (I'd love for TheHusband to go there with me)
4. In the same room as the love-of-my-life - until the end.

Four Friends I Am Tagging Who I Think Will Respond.....
1. Not
2. Gonna
3. Do
4. It.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


Because I STILL don't believe this "new code" is working correctly. This is a test.

Move on people.

Nothing to see here.
UPDATE: Of course, it doesn't help that Blogger is having a shit-fit right about now.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Coffee anyone?

About once a week, the guys (at work) and I will run over to the nearest Starbucks and grab some coffee in the afternoon. The I-Drive location is only about 5 minutes away, so whoever has to go, isn't gone that long. We take turns paying, between the three of us (we just recently lost one technician to the evil corporation known as Sprint). Typically, this is on a Friday, but that is not written in stone.

So today, the other two walk out the front door (past my desk) and don't say anything. After a minute or two of typing, I realize they haven't come back in. So I look out the door, to see one of their cars is gone. Immediately, I know where they have gone.

And they said nothing to me. Now, honestly, I didn't want anything today, but that isn't the point. They didn't ask. Revenge is all that matters, at this point. "Wait until they walk back in..." is what I am thinking. I giggle at what all I'm going to say to them to make them feel guilty, and resume my duties.

Then my cell phone rings. Not my office phone, but my cell phone. It's my supervisor.

I open the phone and say "It's too late now, mister."

He cracks up, and can barely complete a sentence. He knows, that I know, that he knows, that I know, where they are and that they didn't ask me before they left. Consequently, that is why he called, to see if I wanted anything...

He was laughing so much, he handed his cell phone to the Barrister, so that I could place my own order.
We are all outside the office, drinking our coffees, and I am smoking. The other person in the office (who does not drink coffee at all) walked outside and was trying to make fun of two of us for having Frappachino's. With the ice, and the chocolate, and the whipped cream...

"Juan" (not his real name, but you get the gist) said, "So what? Every man needs to let go and be Gay for five minutes per day, so this is my five minutes."

To which I replied... "What are you trying to say?"

Cue the other two to crack up laughing, and "Juan" to turn completely red, with a big smile on his face.

I love the fact that he didn't decide not to say it, just because I was standing there. It proves that I am "just another guy" in the office.


I came home from work to a surprise.

TheHusband, who has been convalescing, went to the store for some supplies.

Then, he cleaned off the dining room table. (He lives for the table. When he puts something on it [think: "OMG!! a flat surface, let me put (whatever is in his hand) here and leave it there until someone else (usually me...) puts it away!"]

Then he made a cake. (As you know, my birthday was about three weeks ago, and I didn't get a cake, nor a present... but I'm not bitter. Much.)

Then he started working on a homemade dinner. He set the table with the dishes we bought two weeks ago, and bought some flowers for the table. It looks nice.

He said it was a "Happy Birthday Better Late Than Never... I Was Really Bored Today" dinner.

It's nice, and I really do appreciate it.

Of course, when TheHusband cooks dinner, he starts around 4:00, and we never eat until after 10:00 pm.

Tonight is right on schedule. It's 8:30ish right now, and he's only half way done.

Gods, but I love him.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

About "Joey"...

... I stopped watching the show after the third episode last year.

There is no other word for it. Horrible. More should be changed than the Magna-doodle.

Now, they are saying it's been pulled from the schedule for a bit.

My suggestion? Get over your initial objection of having the cast members from "Friends" join you on the show. If they'll do it, sign them. And pay them as much as they ask for. Wait. Maybe you should double that.

The show is crap.

Yeah. I'm with her...

... where do I sign up?

Monday, March 13, 2006

I predict...

...that after this, there will be a "Very Special Episode of South Park".

And to all those, ahem, bloggers who said that the Scientology Episode would never be seen again, I guess you were wrong.


I went over 10,000 visitors today.

Thank you.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Inspired by one of the bloggers...

... listed to the right, I have finished tweaking the redesign.

Of course, It looks quite a bit like this persons, so obviously, we stole the code from the same place.

If I could just fine the place in the code where it says to change the background color from black to gray, I'd be happy. I've spent countless hours on that, to no avail.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Playing Nurse-maid

TheHusband had to have a bit of surgery today. He's needed it for a number of years, but finally, the daily nagging I've been giving him has taken hold.

Yes, he had a hernia, I mean... needed a circumcision... er... I really mean: he had a Hydrocele. If you don't know what this means (and I'll bet many of you do, you just didn't know what it was) you'll have to allow me to be a bit graphic. If you are easily grossed out by pictures of inside the human body, please do not click on the next two links. m'kay?

A normal Testis. I'm sure most of you can figure it out. It should fit in the palm of your hand.

An example of what TheHusband's looked like (though this was NOT his). It took two hands, and by that I mean the palms and fingers) to cup his enormous ball sack. Picture a really large grapefruit... and that was just one side.

So the third time was a charm. Today was the third time we've scheduled the operation. An Out Patient procedure, thankfully.

We arrived at 0830, for a 10:00 procedure. I had scheduled the day off, of course. They finally took him away around 10:10. So I proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait some more.

Around 11:30, the Doc came out to tell me everything went fine, and what to expect for the next few days. He said they'd come to get me once they had him out of the OR.

They didn't. They waited until around 13:15 when he was almost ready to leave. They gave me the instructions he would need, along with the prescriptions for pain and infection. So, I brought him home.

I've given him the portable phone so all he has to do it hit the "Intercom" button, and I hear anything he needs. And believe me, he is using it.

"MiKell, I need a new icepack... MiKell, can I have some broth?... MiKell, can I have some more juice? MiKell, can I have some ice water? MiKell, can I have some toast? MiKell, can you help me to the restroom? I have to pee."

Oi Vey.

I've realized something. He makes a better nurse-maid than a patient, and I make a better patient than a nurse-maid.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Dana Reeve died last night.

Sad news. I was really pulling for her. Lord knows she, and for that matter, her son Will had plenty of bad news over the last 13 years or so.

But let's bring this little discussion back around to what is REALLY important, shall we?

Me. I've smoked cigarettes for more than 20 years. I have no plans to quit.

Last week, I was off in the break room (at work) eating my lunch. When I was done washing my dishes (yes, I do this every time I bring my lunch from home) I walked back to my desk and found someone sitting in my chair. He doesn't work for my company, he works for a company that distributes equipment, software, and services that my company sells.

Immediately, he offered to get up. I said "No, don't do that. Relax. I'm going to go outside, anyway." With that, I opened one of my desk drawers, pulled out my cigarettes, and proceeded to walk towards the door.

He said, "Don't do that, it's bad for you."

A beat.

I said, "It's no more dangerous than crossing the street now-a-days."

He said, "You shouldn't do either..."

I wondered how you would get anywhere in life if you didn't (metaphorically) "walk across the street". But I said nothing, and walked out the door.

Now, at least, I can tell him (or anyone...) that Dana Reeve never smoked. Dana Reeve didn't live "in the city". Dana Reeve did not live with someone who smoked. She had no "typical" exposure to Lung Cancer.

And yet, she contracted and died from, Lung Cancer.

So... STFU about my smoking. I don't smoke in your car, I don't smoke in your house, and I certainly don't smoke in the office. BTW, I was well ahead of the local ordinances. I was smoking outside the office because most people in the office didn't smoke and I didn't want to bother them YEARS AGO.

Of course, if I knew this guy very well, and/or he read this blog, he'd realize.

The last thing I am worried about is dying of Lung Cancer.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Last Night's Oscars

Why is it that the Gay Blogosphere is all up in arms because Brokeback Mountain didn't win all six awards it was nominated for?

People, please. 30 years ago, it wouldn't have been nominated, much less won 3 of the six awards it was nominated for.

Get over yourselves. It's. Just. A. Movie.

You should be more concerned over what won for Best Original Song.

THAT was tragic.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Elmo loves getting fisted by black men!

Who knew Elmo likes having a big black hand shoved up his ass?

It's kinda freaky. BTW, I wish the couch had been on the stage. I'm sure "Elmo" would have jumped up and down on it, making fun of a certain overpaid freak.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

No new tires.

I need new tires for my car, but didn't get them today.

I called a store over in Castleberry wondering if they had any openings for eye exams today. They did. I scheduled one for me and one for TheHusband. It's been a while for both of us. The headaches have not been as bad, but still, I needed to try this before I let them scan my brain with radars to find out what was wrong.

We arrived a 1/2 hour early and were greeted enthusiastically. Scary. It was like going into a CeCe's Pizza.

So we both had our eyes checked. My vision had gotten better in my bad eye. Good news.

So I picked out glasses. The only ones I liked were not on "special". Figures. The young man helping us said it would take a three to five days to get them. Fine, I asked that they take my current glasses (also), and replace the lenses with the new 'script. They'd be ready in about two hours. TheHusband's glasses would also be ready in about two hours. He, of course, needs (ahem...) bifocals.

So we left to get some lunch. Then we went to a furniture store that was supposed to be discounted. It wasn't. Then to the Pottery Barn. I had not realized it was a store for discontinued (KMart and other stores) items and irregulars. We bought a set of sheets and a new summer bed quilt. Then on to Blockbuster, where we rented "Rent" and two gay-themed movies that I can't think of the names of. I pointed out to TheHusband that the clerk would figure us out right away...

So after we got home, I washed the sheets and the bedspread, after checking the instructions. The bedspread ripped apart in the washer.

Also, I got a call from the eyeglass superstore. My expensive glasses were ready. Now, THAT's customer service. We'll go back tomorrow, pick up my new glasses and return the bedspread. Funny. We bought the sheets to match the bedspread, because we liked IT so much, but won't be replacing it.

Right now I'm watching "Scary Movie 3" on TNT. I hadn't seen it before, and am laughing my ass off.

I love spoof movies. "Date Movie" anyone?

UPDATE: While watching this, I saw a preview for Scary Movie 4.

I can't wait.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Sorry, kids.

I just haven't had anything to say of late.

Not that there hasn't been anything going on, there has. Nothing important. Not worth talking (blogging?) about.

But today, I was listening to Philips. At one point he was talking about the teacher who was suspended (temporarily, I'm sure) for statements he made during class. Anti-Bush, Anti-America, Anti-Just-About-Everything.

I believe in Free Speech. Really I do. But this isn't that.

I don't think anyone is arguing that he "isn't allowed to say that" to someone. I just don't think it belongs in a High School GEOGRAPHY class. I hear him pull down and point to a map once (you never forget that sound, even 20 years later). But once, in this entire rant (again, in a GEOGRAPHY class) isn't enough.

Send him back to the classroom. Just make sure he follows what is in the textbook.