Monday, July 31, 2006

Someone has been...

...perusing the archives here at How Does One Deal?

Three of those links are so old, I would have to take 20 minutes to find them. And I linked each and every one of them myself. Hell, the number four link doesn't even work anymore.

Things I've learned...

...from watching Smallville, Seasons 1 and 2:

1. It almost never rains in Kansas, unless it is a plot point or an opportunity to show off some neat-o-keen special effects.

2. They take every opportunity to gig the audience. Like Clark's metal shop project, Jonathan Clark listening to "The Ballad of the General Lee", referring to Clark as "bulletproof".

3. They used the expression "Truth, Justice, ... all that stuff" during Season 1, years before the movie came out and no one made a big deal about it.

4. People in Kansas can drive at 14 and 15.

5. People in Kansas always, always, grab their coat before they leave a building, go out into the field, or drive off after a friend.

6. It never snows in Kansas.

7. People in Kansas don't celebrate birthdays, unless it isn't actually your birthday, but the day you land on earth.

8. Speaking of birthdays and age, if Clark was three when he crash landed in Smallville in 1989, that would make him 16ish at the end of Season 2. So, at the beginning of the day he says it isn't his actual birthday, just a date his parent's chose to celebrate. But this is the date that Jor-El speaks to him via the ship, so that would probably mean that it took EXACTLY three years to travel from Krypton to Earth, right? After all, Life Changing Events wouldn't happen when you are 16 and 10 days or so, right?

9. A lot of people (teenagers) die in Kansas, and nobody seems affected at school the next day.

10. Three out of four kids in Kansas are not being raised by their biological mother and father.

11. John Schneider doesn't watch 60 Minutes. If he did, he would notice something that he has in common with Andy Rooney.

... I'm sure there are more, but it is early in the morning. When I buy Season 3 next week, I'm going to write them down as I notice them.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Guns don't kill people...

Stupid assholes do.

I have a (loose) connection to this particular crime.

When will we learn?

A Joke

Via R.J.

A quick joke...
Q: What's the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone?
A: You can't hear the Vitamin.

Personally, I don't get it.

Wink wink.
(And yes, I had to explain it to TheHusband.)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Email to TheHusband

After reading today's Big News, I emailed to TheHusband.

To: TheHusband
From: Mikell
Subject: LB: Yup, I'm Gay.

File this under "I told you so..."
Link to story
Reply from TheHusband:

"Whaaaaaaat? I don't believe it. Not for a minute. But, if I did, a German husband? Good for him, I can imagine all the well-hung, uncut sex they are having."
Reply from me:

"Uhm... Reichen is as American as you or I. He was 1/2 of the winners of The Amazing Race a year or two ago. Keep up, missy."
TheHusband is so far out of the loop, it's kinda scary.

Monday, July 24, 2006

You want me to WHAT?

I arrived at work today to a voice mail. It's Monday, so that didn't really shock me. Happens all the time on Mondays.

Then I listened to it. It was recorded at 0730 today. Odd. It was from my "NEW" supervisor.

I say "new" in quotes because this guy recently moved over from the corporate office to ours and was supposed to be in charge of part of our office, but not me and not the service technicians. I got this information from my "then" supervisor, who tells me things. There has been no word from the corporate office, nor from him. He's easy about telling me to do things. He asks, which should be a plus. It isn't his fault, so I don't hold it against him.

Anyway, over the weekend, a decision was made. Some of our employees are not updating the company database everyday, and so TPTB cannot keep their thumbs on them as firmly as TPTB feel they should be. So, a plan was created. Myself and the other administrator in our South Florida office, would call these employees at 1530 each day and "timestamp" the open call in our database that each employee had "touched".

"What?", I thought. "You are saying that people in this company cannot (or will not) do what is required of them in a timely manner, so you are going to make it MY responsibility?"

After explaining, he asked, "Can you do this?"

My answer, silence.

He said, "Hello, you still there?"

My answer, "Yes."

His response, "Did you hear what I said?"

My answer, "Yes".

His response, "What do you think of this plan?"

My response (without saying what a stupid plan this was...), "Wait. You are saying that you all are concentrating on the fact that these people will not do their jobs, so your plan is to push the responsibility off onto me?"

Him: "We have to do something. The Execs are looking at this report..."

Me: "Well, make the people who are not doing their jobs responsible, not me. I can be a team player. I understand that they might not be able to connect to the server while on site (even though the company provides them with a laptop computer with wireless connection), so if that is the problem, let them call me, and I'll be more than happy to update the database for them. Besides, what if I am at the bank at 1530? What if I am off work? What if I am on the other side of the building, receiving in a pallet of equipment? Shouldn't the onus be on them to call me? I have voice mail. If they call me, and I'm unavailable, they can leave a voice mail message, and I can update sometime in the next hour."

Him: "You might have a point. Let's try that for a while, and see how it goes."

Thanks, asshole.

Oh. Then there was the kicker. He asked me to send him, via email, a breakdown of each employee, the customer's account they worked on, and the amount of time they worked. Literally, the example I was given looked like this:

Employee One:
Customer 1: 1 minute
Customer 2: 5 minutes
Customer 3: 45 minutes
Customer 4: 1 minute


We have a database, have I mentioned? I run a report for everyone in my office on Monday morning. All of this information is included in this report. Someone at his level should be able to run this report.

When I left the office today, I had received NO calls from employees who were supposed to call me with the above information. Consequently, I sent out no email to my new supervisor.

I can't wait until tomorrow when he asks, "Why?"

My Weekend

It didn't start out as much.

Saturday, TheHusband decided to "make something out of" the old air conditioner closet. As I rolled my eyes, I thought of (at least) three "projects" he has started, and yet not finished. 1)The backyard pond (still leaks) 2)The 'make two rooms out of one' (the "new" walls have still not been painted), and 3)the back porch.

It will be fine, I'm sure...

Anyway, I finally decided that I need to force myself to buy a DVR. I no longer tape TV to watch, because our VCR is old, and sometimes just doesn't feel like it. I didn't care if it was TIVO or a CD-R/W system. As long as it was hooked up to the TV here in my den, I would be happy. And besides, I deserve it. I never spend money on ME. So I told the husband where I was going, and drove off to Target.

I got there and wandered around. I found myself in the housewares department, and looked at bedspreads. We've been using the same quilt for the last five years, and while it works great in the winter, it's use is lacking in the warmer weather, if you know what I mean.

So I found the PERFECT one... provides warmth, without being too hot, in the perfect colors... meaning that I wouldn't have to purchase a new sheet set, too. I pondered purchasing this for 10 minutes before finally putting it into my cart.

Then, off to the men's clothing department. After all, it was the first day of No Sales Tax" for clothing purchases of less than $50. In the ENTIRE department, I found one... count 'em... ONE pair of pants that should fit. They had NO pleats, and they satisfied the 'neck test' as well as the 'holding them up to my waist' test. Though I should, I still can't force myself to try them on before I leave the store.

Then I wandered over into the electronics section, where the DVRs would be. I stood there looking at each and every one of them... There was a TIVO for $199 (with a $140 rebate, but then you have to sign up for the service) and four or five different CD-RW of all different price ranges. What I really wanted was something that records to a hard drive, but not have to pay a monthly fee for. I guess I want too much.

I spent 20 minutes doing this. I am sure that the cameras were trained on me, wondering when I was going to try and steal one. I left that section of the store without putting anything in my cart.

Then I wandered over to the DVD section. I looked at quite a few, but only one was catching my eye. Smallville, season 1.

Let me just say this about that. I have not followed the show over the last five years. I have only begun watching it on Saturdays, on my local WB station. Unfortunately, I've only seen every OTHER episode, as they are skipping them. I don't know why. I know. It is very gay (I hate that term) for a man of forty years to admit he watches Smallville. Hell, I go through the same thing whenever I admit to watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer series. Consequently, whenever I am watching TV, TheHusband will wander into my den to ask "Are you Buffy-u-lating?", no matter what I am watching.

Anyway, I picked up the Season 1 DVD, and put it down. Picked it up, and put it down. Then I decided to chose another path, and picked it up and put it down. I did this for another 20 minutes. Finally, I put it into the cart, and proceeded to the check out.

I did make it out of the store with all three of these things, amazingly enough. I was without, however, the reason for driving to the store. No DVR.

I don't get it. Why is it that I can spend countless $$$ on a gift for someone else, without thinking about it, and can barely spend anything on myself?

BTW, I watched the DVDs until 23:00 that night, woke up at 0430 Sunday and started watching again. I watched through the day, while doing my chores, and finally finished about 1800 Sunday evening.

My goal for this Saturday is to force myself to go back to Target and purchase Season 2.

Don't think they need to learn English?

I would disagree.

Lyrics NSFW, but funny as hell.

Via Thomas & Co

Thursday, July 20, 2006

You're the what?

Stop it.


My job is to show up at the office everyday.

I am... the Office Administrator.

No. Strike that. I am...

Administrative Coordinator.

dun - Dun - DUN!!!!!

I type. I answer the phone. I update calendars.

I coordinate... stuff.

Really, I do.

Lately, after the big office move, I have begun to wonder what my function was.

"Mikell, the air conditioner doesn't seem to be working."

"Mikell, the toilet in the men's room is leaking."

"Mikell, there are no exhaust fans in the restrooms."

"Mikell, there is no hot water in the building."

"Mikell, it's raining outside, and there is water leaking in the ceiling."

"Mikell, is the building manager aware at how much water is leaking from the toilet in the bathroom? That would be QUITE a lawsuit if someone slipped, you know."

"Mikell, it is raining outside, and there is water coming in under the front/back door(s)."
That last one was the final straw.

I reached into my desk drawer and pulled out my job description. Then I flung it at my supervisor and said, "Where on here does it say Facilities Manager?"

He looked at it as he laughed.
The company has recently decided to do ALL employee reviews during the summer, as it is our "off season".

I better get a raise like I did last year.

Misty Water Colored Memories...

If you looked at something for five years, it would stand to reason that you'd recognize it again after not seeing it for a while, right?

Like when I visit my "home town".

I know my way around. I know shortcuts from point A to point B. I know where the main drag is. I know where my High School, Middle School, and Elementary School all are. I know where the restaurant where I had my first job NOT picking a fruit (or vegetable) was. I know where the kids would drive to on Saturday nights and watch the "submarine races". I remember where the Laundromat was that I used to buy cigarettes candy out of the machine for 60 cents a pack. Where the best peanut butter shakes in town can be bought. Which bridge has the best rope swing from which you could drop into the river and ogle the high school football players.

I said "home town" in quotes because I only lived there for a total of six years out of my life. Not six years in a row, mind you. I moved there at eight years old, again at 12 years old, and finally at one month shy of my 17th birthday. I've not lived there since I graduated High School, and have only been back a few times in the last 22 years.

So, would you agree? If you look at something closely for five years, would you recognize it if you saw it 15 years later?

I would. I do.

I did.

I was trolling looking through Craigslist DC the other day and ran across a picture of my ex-husband. (NSFW!!)

You think I'm kidding.

I'd know him anywhere.

The Office In Pictures

As usual, I am inspired by Dave.

Somehow, I don't think it is quite the same at my office as his.

The Kitchenette

The Copier. The Fax. The Printer, Printer, Printer, and Printer.

My Comfy Guest Chairs

My Personal Assistant

Yes. Those are pins sticking out of him. One for each of my co-workers.

Maybe they are hiring in Kansas.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Stupid is as stupid does...

"We must also remember that embryonic stem cells come from human embryos that are destroyed for their cells. Each of these human embryos is a unique human life with inherent dignity and matchless value," Bush said in his comments to specially invited families at the White House."


Yeah. Right. Because EACH and EVERY one of those human embryos would have become a child.

Wait... you mean they wouldn't have?
BTW, this is my 400th post.

I was wrong... about being wrong

And thank the gods.

I guess that this is what an EMMY nomination will do.

The Penny

I know, I know. All the stories lately about removing it from circulation lately. These stories pop up every few years.

I don't want them to. Not because, if they did, the price of EVERYTHING would go up, which it would (uhm HELLO?? do any of you live in a state where the sales tax is either 5% or 10%? I'd say no. And if your current sales tax rate is 6.5%, as it is for me, do you think they will LOWER that tax to 5%? I think not.)

But because of my father.

Sometime after he found out about his illness and before he died, he typed some messages to his children. He then took those little print-outs and placed them into a small little envelope with a penny. He also wrote our first initials on the envelope, so my step-mother would know who to give them to.

He didn't write our full names out on each envelope because he was suffering from a type of Parkinson's disease, caused by Agent Orange (used in Viet Nam), which made it nearly impossible for him to write ANYTHING out. In his later days, he switched to his left hand to sign his name or write anything, though he'd been a right-handed person for his entire life. But, if he wanted anyone, including himself, to be able to read what he was writing, he had to painstakingly write it with his left hand. It was no wonder that the computer became his best friend. Typing with two fingers is a lot faster than trying to write with hands that shake so bad you can't control them.

Back on topic, here is a picture of my envelope:

Here is a picture of the envelope and it's contents:

It is a 2000 penny, the year he did it, as he died in March 2001.

The note says:

"I am like a penny. Not a bad one, but a bright one.
Remember, I'll always turn up wherever you find a penny
anywhere. In the years to come, you'll pick one up and
say, "There's Dad!" In time you'll have a thousand
reminders of how much you are loved."

It's true. Although I do not pick up each penny I see lying on the ground, I do think of him each and every time.


Months ago, TheHusband and I went to Blockbuster and rented three movies. BTW, he almost NEVER goes with me when I rent DVDs to watch. I might ask him if there is anything special he wants to see, but he won't go with me. He had to go with me of course, he was trapped in my car, with me driving.

Anyway, I watched "Rent" by myself and returned it the next day (I knew I'd buy it later on when it was cheaper). The other two movies, I never watched. TheHusband said he did, but they were both so bad that he only watched a few minutes of each before giving up. Another week goes by and he was on his way out, so I asked him to return them. That next Saturday, I get a nasty-gram from Blockbuster about not returning them, and if I don't, I'll be charged and I will own them. I asked TheHusband if he had, in fact, returned them. He said yes. I asked if he took them back to the store we rented them from, and he said no.

The next week, I got yet another nasty-gram, but they had "received" one of the movies back. I blew this off, since they got one, and they were both turned in at the same time, they'd get the other. Eventually.

Fast forward to this last Sunday. I rented two movies, "Date Movie" and "Jarhead". The clerk said there was a "hold" on my account for a movie that wasn't returned on time. $22.04. She called over the supervisor... I was told what the movie was (remembering the story), and I asked if they got it back. She said yes, that they had received one movie in late March, and the other sometime in May (MAY???) but she didn't know where the movie actually was at that moment. I told her that I could own up to returning the movie late, and could probably accept that I now, in fact, own the movie, but that I wouldn't pay for it if she couldn't hand it over to me right at that moment. She agreed, and temporarily removed it from my account so that I could take my new choices home.

She said she'd ask the manager where the movie was, and also asked what an "acceptable" resolution would be. I said, again, I'll pay for the movie, but they had to hand me the disk at the same time, or have the charges removed from my account. Simple. Happy as a clam (at the moment), I left.

Then, once I got home, I looked at my receipt. Using the "Jarhead" DVD as an example, I have a question.

If I spent $4.29 on the rent, and the receipt says I can own it on 7/31 (the OVERdue date) for an additional $8.70, how does that equal $22.04? By my calculations (granted, elementary math was a really long time ago for me) there seems to be an additional $10 unaccounted for) Shouldn't some obviously unrentable movie be LESS than the widely popular "Jarhead"?

Too much thinking for this morning. "Date Movie" was funny as all get out, and "Jarhead" was extremely thought provoking (read: good).

Rent/buy them both.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Birtha Venation

No, not the Charles Pierce character from the movie Torch Song Trilogy.

Someone had her babies. And there are pictures!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Doctor Visit... July 2006

Eh. Turns out, the doctor forgot to call.

While I showed up 1/2 hour early for my appointment (BTW, I only had to have my BP tested twice to get it low enough to be recorded- yay me!), the person I was meeting (the pharmacist) did not. She came to get me 1/2 hour late.

Do people who are late realize how fucking annoying this is? I have a life. I would like to live it. Stop fucking with my life. I am not paid a gazillion dollars a year. In fact, I only make a few dollars an hour, and if I'm not at work, I make nothing. Zero. Bupkis. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Anyway... my Viral Load came down. Crashing down. From 1018 last time to 218 this time. I said something about the Doc would call if it was good news and I wouldn't have to show up today, but she brushed it off saying he's still under the weather and forgot. She apologized for him. Whatever.

My weight: The same. I STILL hate that stupid scale.

Also noted: My bad cholesterol is record breaking low, and my good cholesterol is record breaking high. The gods were good to me here.

Yes, I gloated to TheHusband. He takes both Niasin and Fluvastatin for his cholesterol. They turn him pink.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Sometime in the last few days (my guess? yesterday) I went over 20,000 visitors.

I guess that's what happens when you are AWOL.

Thanks to all of you. I promise to be better. It's those demons that I am fighting.
Speaking of that post, I have to return to the doctor tomorrow. Obviously, I didn't get the phone call which only means one thing. My Viral Load went up, and I will be taking the Genotype test again. I had this done in 2000, finding out that I was resistant to many of the older HIV drugs (of the time). This was mainly because I'd taken most of them, either for a long time, or for a short time and couldn't handle the side affects.

Of course, in 2000, many new drugs or drug combinations had come out, so I was switched to them. This would lead to the Great HIV Drug Holiday that would give birth to this blog.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Baby Watch

Someone has been in the hospital for the last few weeks. Today should mark her 32nd week pregnant, with TWINS!!!! According to the last update, she might get to leave the hospital today, even if it means not going home, but to an apartment across the street from the hospital-- for more bedrest. Both of the babies are boys [and all of you know we like boys ;) ], but she's still calling them "Baby A and Baby B".

Here's to hoping she keeps them in there as long as possible... and names one after me.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

It's someone's birthday.

Can you believe he's 43?

Good gods, but I wish I would look like this at 43.

Hell, I wish TheHusband had looked like this at 43.

: I'll remove the picture if you ask me to... but my 10's of readers will be disappointed if I do...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Day After

TheHusband is still "recovering" from yesterday. Seems he had a few too many Coronas yesterday. It's probably a good thing we could walk home from our friends house. Of course, he is on the downside to the big five-oh.

** snicker **

On another subject, my nipples are hard.

Nothing like THAT you silly people.

The air conditioner is working like a charm. The first thing I noticed when I got home was how cool the house was. I did what I always do, strip off my school clothes and walk around in my skivvies, t-shirt, and flip flops. An hour later, I turned off the ceiling fan in my den. Then I closed the vent. Then I turned UP the temperature on the A/C thermostat. Then I got a sweater out and put it on. Then I got a blanket and draped it over my legs.

I think it has started snowing in the kitchen.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Independence Day!!

This picture was taken by me, of the flag at my house. Yeah, I took it last year, but still. At least I'm not using someone else's picture to make my own political statement, when it may or may not be appropriate. Whilst I would agree that the basic idea of today is to celebrate all things American, including the Right of Free Expression, it is also a day to remember that just because you have the Right to say something, doesn't mean you shouldn't pick a better time and place.

'Nuff said.

Today, TheHusband and I (well, mostly me) have invited ourselves over to the house of a friend of ours (whom I mention on this blog a lot, actually). He was recently broken up with (huh?) and is a bit broken hearted. Nothing he can't get over, but, you all remember the feeling, right? (SIDENOTE I never did like the other guy, shhhhh don't tell anyone!)

So, our friend has a pool. We'll bring the ribs (our friend LOVES the way I cook ribs), the corn-on-the-cob (insert gay-themed joke here), and the dessert (Red/White/Blue fruity whipped-creamy goodness). Someone needs to provide the Coronas. I have a Key Lime tree in the back yard, so I've got that covered, too.

I know, I know. Corona is a Mexican beer. I don't care. It's what I like with Lobster, All-You-Can-Eat Crab feasts, and holidays at the house.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Much Better.

Today, TheHusband had the day off. I work for a real company, and had to work.


Anyhoo, we had a company come over and install a new Air Conditioning system.

I'm so glad I wasn't here for most of it. I couldn't have handled being here in the house for that long without it.

Here's the old air handler, outside.

It was so loud that I could hear it inside the house. I suppose it didn't help that it was right outside the kitchen window.

Why I was surprised I could hear it? Because the inside unit fit into this little closet, also inside the kitchen. I couldn't hear much when it was running.

Anyway, we had them both replaced with these. 1st, the outside unit:

It is easily three times as tall, and four times as quiet. You can stand next to the damned thing and have a conversation without even raising your voice.

Oh. And the Inside Unit? It wouldn't fit inside that little closet in the kitchen. We had it put into the laundry room. I thought that was the best place for it, since it made it difficult to have a conversation in the kitchen when it was running.

Which was most of the time, here in Central Florida during the spring-summer-fall.

So we had them move it. I don't know if you can get the feeling of how much bigger it is from the picture, but it is.

As I told TheHusband, I won't know until tomorrow at noon if it was worth it. Typically, during the day, we'd set the temperature at 78 degrees (assuming we are home), and are lucky if the air conditioner could keep the temp inside the house somewhere around 87 degrees.

It can't be good for them to run 24 hours a day. And our old unit(s) just about did that.