Thursday, August 31, 2006

I needed something to lighten the mood...

I am watching again. And yes, I missed the first hour - again.

I can't wait to hear what Tom thinks.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I am NOT a Secretary...

... let me be clear about that. I am an Administrative Assistant Coordinator.

Here is a list of things I do NOT do:

1. I do NOT answer phones because they are ringing, although I am the "Operator" for my satellite office.
2. Act as the company "Operator".
3. Pick up your laundry from the Dry Cleaners. **
4. Pick out your wife's Birthday/Anniversary gift from you.
5. Answer or respond to your email/voice mail messages for you.
6. Type letters/emails for you.
7. Receive faxes for you, only to put them back into the fax machine and re-fax them to your home office.
8. Stop what I am doing on the other side of the building because you are calling on the phone or sending me an email. No Matter How Many Times You Call/Email.
9. Change your sales proposals because you are too lazy to log into the company database.
10. Take messages over the phone and pass it to someone. We have Voice Mail.
11. Care that you are the Number One salesman in the company. No man is an Island, and as far as I am concerned, you can walk the plank. (I know, I know, mixing my metaphors here...)

Here is a list of things I'm not required to do, but make the office run smoother:

1. Receive in faxes, and place them in the intended recipient's Inbox.
2. Replace the paper towels on the holders.
3. Replace the toilet paper on the holders.

Here is what I am required to do:

1. Receive each and every little bit of product that we sell.
a)Update the company database so the accounting types will pay for said product
b)Add tracking codes to each piece of equipment
2. Coordinate anything and everything that the Project Manager needs to implement said installation.
3. Coordinate anything and everything that the Installation Technician needs to stage, and install said installation.
4. (Occasionally) Ship out, via the UPS system, equipment needed for said installation.
5. Maintain installation calendar, so that said installations of product to not get installed five in one day, and nothing else that week.
6. Maintain Training/Conference room, so that Salesmen and Project Managers do not duplicate the use of said room.
7. Enter serial numbers of equipment into sales contracts, so that we can track RMA information.
8. Open and Close Service Calls in our Company Database.
9. Send countless emails to you, asking that you do your job. Like getting a new customer's name, contact, address, and phone number correct.
10. Send numerous emails to you, requesting that you pick up payment from customers, since that is, after all, your job.
12. Order Office Supplies, including paper towels, toilet tissue, etc.
So, in case you are wondering...

Sending an email to my supervisor, even with a CC:Mikell in it, that accuses me of NOT doing my job, when the company database clearly shows I have, is not a good idea. On the other hand, if you want me to delete future emails/voice mails from you without reading/listening to them, you've succeeded.

Here is what I said, in an email, to my supervisor:

"Please tell GoofySalesGuy that if he is going to try and call me out for not doing my job to please check his facts before doing so," along with a screenshot of our database showing how/when I had CLEARLY done my job properly.

I was so mad I was shaking. And it was only 0930 in the morning.

I feel bad for my new supervisor, actually. He is a "YES" man who is clearly in over his head. Honestly, I don't think he is going to last that long.

Although he is afraid of me, which means I'm doing something right.
UPDATED 9/05/06: I had to strike this today.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Celebrity Duets is rocking my world...

Are you watching this show?

All of these celebrities sucked during their first performance, but rocked during their second. So far at least. Every time they perform their second song, I think to myself, "I am SO voting for that one."

And besides, how can you NOT love Marie Osmond?

Oh. And how could Little Richard NOT like Chris Jericho? Homo. (Not that there is anything wrong with that...)

21:34: I missed Hal Sparks? Crap. The clip sounded good. And I love me some Gladys Knight. Ouch. He's missing the notes. Too bad. She is flawless. He is NO Pip.

If I had to choose between a free concert by Barbra Streisand and Gladys Knight, Barbra would have no chance whatsoever.

What did Little Richard say?

21:38: Cheech Marin. Uhm... the first time, he sounded like he was at the Kareoke Bar down the street.

Actually, he sounds better this time. It's Randy Travis that sounds like he's put away a few Jack & Coke's. And looks like it too. Cheech should probably lay off the Little Debbies. Oh. Wait. They don't have those on the West Coast.

Yeah. I don't know what Little Richard was saying either. Again.

Commercial time. I need another beer.

Is it just me? I feel like this is a great waste of time, but nobody is going to be hurt over it, unlike some shows that I refuse to watch. The winner gets a donation to his/her charity of choice. Everybody wins.
Back at 21:45: Jai Rodriguez. Did he just say he was mor nervous singing with Michelle Williams than Gladys Knight. Kill him now. That might cloud my judgement a bit. He's doing fine, though.

What? Leading the pack? I don't know about that.

Commercial time.

It's time.

I'd suggest getting rid of Lucy Lawless. That's my choice.

Who the judges chose:
Chris Jericho.

I disagree, but that's okay. Regardless, I'd rather watch him walk around in tights, anyway.



So TheHusband's father called yesterday. Usually, he calls on Sunday nights, and not before 22:00 hours, since he's in California. Something I always tease him about.

TheHusband had his hands full, so I had to vamp a bit. The conversation between us moved to how much sleep we each get at night. I told him it was usually around six hours for me, more or less, depending. He said it was usually less for him. He would wake up around 0230 or 0330, start tossing and turning, and eventually get up.

I said yes, this happens to me, but I can usually turn over and get another hour or two, each time waking up at the 30 minute mark, until I give up around 0500 or 0530.

Bastard jinxed me. Woke up today at 0230, rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up again and looked at the clock. It was 0235. AAARRRGH! I gave up at 0400.

I should have called him to see if he was awake yet.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hope you had a good time...

Ever heard that someone was having a party, and you weren't invited?

It happened to me, recently. People who, I thought, were becoming friends of mine. They even posted public announcements of said party, but I saw them once, saw no way to respond to the announcement, and the next time I looked? Announcement removed, and no further word was mentioned. I assumed the party had been cancelled.

I'm glad they had a good time, and I may not have been able to join in ALL the festivities, but considering the nature of the "invitation", I'm thinking I probably should have been considered an "invitee".

Of course, I could be feeling a bit too sensitive.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Live Blogging the Emmys...

Again, I don't know how long I'll make it, but here I am.

It is currently 19:20 hours, and I am watching that awful Guiliana woman and Ryan Seacrest on the E! channel. Please. Fire both of them and bring back Kathy Griffin.

Is Simon Cowell drunk?

I would so do Howie Mandel if I had the chance.

YEAH!!! KATHY GRIFFIN!!! With that Major Todd. Oh. yea. right. Seacrest wanted Kathy to stop by and "see" him. I believe that.

Jeff Probst is on now, explaining CBS's decision to divide the upcoming Survivor season teams by racial make-up. I don't care. I haven't watched the show since the third season.

Paula Abdul is drunk already. She stood there for two minutes, talking with Ryan, then said "didn't I talk to you yesterday?" before walking off the set -- in the middle of a question from Ryan.

It's okay, Paula, I hate him too.

Ryan is really short, isn't he.

The show starts now... it is 20:00

This opening might not have been a good idea, with that plane crashing today. Just a thought.

I have yet to laugh at the opening. Is it me, or is the laugh track a bit much?

Crap. I spoke too soon. The South Park/Tom Cruise spoof.

Chris Hansen of Dateline was pretty funny, too.

The obligatory Mel Gibson joke. Thanks for getting it out of the way.

I think the "host" has more than just limited musical ability, but maybe it is just me.

First Award: Best Supporting Actress, Comedy: Megan Mullally. Good for her.

Best Supporting Actor, Drama:
Alan Alda. I still love him.

Commercial time.

That whole Bob Newhart thing is funny.

Best Supporting Actress, Drama: Blythe Danner. Uhm... why? Sympathy vote?

Get off the stage already.

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy: Jeremy Pevin. Shocker. I thought people hated him.

Commercial again?

Supporting Actress, M/S, Movie: Kelly MacDonald. Uhm... who?
What the hell is she saying? I'm having a hard time with that accent.

Commercial again.

Variety Music or Comedy: Daily Show.

Awards announced two weeks ago. Blah Blah Blah.

Directing in Comedy:
My Name is Early, Pilot. Oh yeah. The exact show I turned off after five minutes. Funny speech though. He has a wife?

Outstanding writing, comedy: My Name is Earl, pilot. Eh. Thank you speech even funnier. Why isn't he writing the show that funny?

Commercial time, yet again.

Simon Cowell, who get's boo'd, announces the tribute to Dick Clark. Simon is sweating like a pig.

Thank goodness, they didn't have Dick walk out onto the stage while on camera. He's still not quite well. And then he joked about it. And was funny.

I swear it is true: I listend to my copy of The Essential Barry Manilow today.

Commercial time.

Individual Perfomance comedy/musical: Barry Manilow. Shouldn't he have thanked Bette Midler?

Guess Actress, Actor, Drama: Don't care, not tonight. Show me Wenty without his shirt.

Outstanding Director, Drama: Some guy who directed 24 once or twice. I've never seen the show.

The "new" Golden Age of Television? I don't think so. Does he watch the same crap I do every week?

Outstanding Writing, Drama: Some guy for the Sopranos. Another show I've never seen.

Commercial time.

I'm not going to make it to 11. I'll probably stop watching and start surfing for porn, as Colin suggests.

Outstanding Supporting Actor, Mini/Movie: Jeremy Irons. Okay, whatever. What's the next award? Never heard of this movie/mini.

Outstanding Directing, variety, music, comedy: Like anybody cares.

They are running long? They've got 1-1/2 hours left. How many more fucking awards could there be?

Outstanding Writing, comedy, musical, variety: Daily Show. Okey Dokey.

Commercial time. Shocker, I know.

I am not going to make it to 23:00 watching this show.

It has just occured to me that I haven't been time-stamping the indiviual posts. Crap.

Is that what it looks like when you fast forward in TIVO? I may have to get one.

Lead Actor, Mini/Movie: Thank goodness it wasn't Jon Voight. He would have been whining about not seeing Shiloh.

Lead Actor, Comedy: Tony Shalhoub. Don't watch the show, but the commercials are always funny. Speech funny, too. And short, not unlike him.

Commercial time, redux.

That's it. I can't stand it anymore. I gotta stop and go to bed. Let me know how it ends, will you?

Crap. One last thing. What the hell was Candace thinking with that outfit?

Yes, I saw the original Charlie's Angels in the Aaron Spelling tribute, and I'm all teary eyed. But now, I'm turning the show off.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lather, Rinse, Repeat...

Here's how I do it.

In the shower (never a bathtub):
Left Arm.
Right Arm.
Left Leg.
Right Leg.
Both Feet.
Nether regions.
Then I rinse my ENTIRE body, head to toe.

This takes between five and eight minutes, max. Also, I get into the shower sometime between 0710 to 0718, depending on the story running on the Today Show.

After that, I:
towel dry my body
towel dry my hair
wrap the towel around my waist
comb my hair straight
apply my deodorant
remove the towel and hang it up
get dressed
brush my teeth
apply "product" to my hair
re-comb my hair into today's, uhm... effort
grab my keys and lunch if:

TheHusband made it, and then:

walk out the door.

Start to finish: 35 minutes.
How about you?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

If you live in Florida...

... your next Governor will be Charlie Crist.

I know this will bother most of you, since you are against anyone with a big (R) behind their name, but it is true.

I watched the debate between the two Republican candidates tonight. Tom Gallagher was an ass. Crist was much more moderate than I remember.

What was that? There are Democrats running for the position?

I hardly knew.

Sorry, pumpkin. You will not win. But I will watch your debate tomorrow anyway.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Sad songs say so much...

... and so do certain words.

Like Goodbye.

Although I would prefer something like "So long.." One has to do what is best for one's self.

As one of the first bloggers that I linked to, I wish him well.

And hope that he'll meet me when I am sent down south by my company. I have been reading his blog long enough that he has become a member of my close friends. He doesn't know this, but it is true. And I don't say this easily. I can count my close friends on one hand.

Oh, gods, that sounded possessive. I didn't mean it that way.

I only mean that he could be a really close friend of mine. He can understand how I feel, in a way that the few friends I have, cannot. They are missing a simple thing, though it is to their credit. He is HIV+, and my friends are not. While I do not fault my friends for not being stupid enough to get this life debilitating disease (as I was), I still can't get a level of understanding from someone who is NOT HIV+ than someone who IS positive.

As I only got to know him from his blog posts and comments here, I don't claim to "know" him... just the feeling that he "let" me know him. Even though his posts were riddled with humor.

I will miss his take on life. He touched me. Not physically, but in a good way. Though, had he touched me physically, that would have been in "a good way" too.


Sunday, August 20, 2006

Duh moment...

Me: I need your card to go to the grocery store tomorrow.
TheHusband: Why don't you use yours?
Me: Mine isn't working. The stripe has stopped reading in retail environments.
TheHusband: Then use a credit card.
Me: I don't want to use a credit card. I like to pay cash for everything, when it is not an emergency.
TheHusband: But I don't have that much money in my checking account, and I don't want to transfer anything to it from my savings.
Me: Don't worry about it, I'll write you a check and you can deposit it into your back account on Monday morning.
TheHusband: Then why don't you just write a check to the grocery store.

** pause **

Me: How very 20th Century of you.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Help Wanted...

TheHusband sent me many, many emails today. They were all links to jobs posted. In the DC Metropolitan area. To get him to stop, I finally sent the message:

"I am not moving back to DC/VA. If you are thinking about it, you have to decide if it would be better to live with me, or without me."

Moving back to DC would be a step back, not forward. I don't think I want to do that.
P.S. He does this whenever he is unhappy at work. This equates to about every four months or so.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Reflections of...

... a Poker Tourney.

Wow. I had SUCH a great time last night. I must say this about all the folks over at Real Radio. Great people. I've been on The Monster's show, back when they were Mid-Day once. First of all, Russ (with Bo, in tow) were awfully drunk, but he at least pretended to remember me, which was nice. He was on is way to Mako's, I think. Saw Daniel and BlackBean too, who actually DID remember me, as I sat right behind them while on the show.

I am much more of a fan of the whole station than TheHusband is, so all night I was pointing out people (discreetly, I hope) and telling him who each one was. Bubba, Drunkee, Chunks, Dirty Jim. TheHusband is ONLY a fan of the Philips Phile. This was our fifth or sixth outing with the Phile, starting with the last Fantasy Fest Cruise.

Right away, we saw Jim and Moira. We mingled with them for a bit and I found my table. I was at #39 of about 40. I played conservatively, but went all in on the 2nd hand. It ended in a tie with the guy next to me, so we split the pot. I'm up, I'm down. Not bad. The local celebrity at my table was Lauren Perkins Rowe. Extremely nice. Oh, and a Potty Mouth that woman has on her! When she sat down, I said something goofy like, "Didn't you just have a baby yesterday, or something?" She smiled, and said "Seven and a half weeks, yes." Later on, after some banter back and forth, she looked at me (when we had both folded) and asked if we had met before, that I looked familiar to her. I said no, we hadn't, but isn't that supposed to be MY line to HER? She would high-five anyone that made a good play resulting in a win, and talk about her husband. He finally wandered over, they spoke, and he walked back to his table. I asked if that had been him, she said yes, and I said, "Girl, you did GOOD!" She giggled at this. Here's a really bad picture taken with my cell-phone cam. Her husband is the one standing behind her.

Finally, the group running the games came around and combined the tables. We were all split up to fill in positions at another part of the room. Here is what I took with me:

There were no celebs at my 2nd table. I only wanted to survive to the next level at this point. I did.

I made it to the final six tables, and sat down next to Moira. She was kicking ass and taking names. The first hand I had pocket Jacks. I bet like a mad man. And lost. On the next hand, I had to be all in, since I didn't have much left. I would have won that one, but someone got a flush on the River card. Bastard.

I have no idea who won the tournament. I couldn't even see who was playing on the final two tables because of the crowds surrounding them. I know that Moira was at one and Lauren was at the other, but I went wandering around with TheHusband and talked to the local celebs. More with Jim, Jack, Oddo, Janna Banana. Mark McEwen was there, but I never got a chance to talk to him.

At the end of the night was the drawings for door prizes. The first number drawn was for a vacuum. I looked at my tickets. It was read again, and I remember saying "Oh Shit, I think I won!!" Moira said, "Really? Then get up there and make sure." Jim said, "It figures you'd win that..." It was a vacuum. Really, a vacuum.

We left shortly after that, me making TheHusband carry the vacuum to the car. He wanted to stop at Studz to see "D", I wanted to see that hottie Josh, who works the bar until midnight or so. I wasn't disappointed. Skimpy red shorts never looked so good. A quick stop at the Wendy's Drive Thru (TheHusband was cranky, so I made him eat) and we were home.

It was a good night.
UPDATE: I am told that they earned over $42,000 for the Mustard Seed. Happy about that, I am. That is over $1000 per table.

The reason I go on, and on, and on, about the vacuum is because I have a house filled with ceramic tile floors. What the hell am I going to do with a vacuum?

I am happy nontheless.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

I'm all IN...

... I hope I get to say that this Saturday.

I'm playing in the Philip's Phile 2nd Annual Poker Tournament to benefit The Mustard Seed.

Honestly, I've never played Texas Hold'em. Ever. But really, how hard can it be? Celebrities do it all the time on Bravo.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Here's a lesson...

... in how to tell your children why it is important NOT to have sex.


In the first video, I was thinking that it should be shown in every Sex Education class from now until eternity. It doesn't matter that it was filmed in the 1960's (at least that's my guess, judging from the haircuts).

The second video, I was a bit more appalled at. My first thought was that "someone" should put that poor woman out of her misery. Permanently. After that, I began having flashbacks to the Alien movies. Watch and you will understand.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

It happened...

...I was injured at work today. And it was because of this issue.

No worries, like you were anyway, but I'll probably be fine.

I was pulling yet another order of equipment, sidestepping boxes piled all over the floor, and lifted something wrong. My hand is currently in an ACE bandage. I didn't go to the doctor, as the pain has gotten worse since I got home.

Right away, I notified my former supervisor, as is required of ALL workmen's comp claims. He did not make a formal report of it. (This is not his fault, as I don't think this company has procedures for an incident like this)

By the time I reached the house this afternoon, I realized I was in quite a bit of pain. But as the old joke goes, I stopped moving it when it hurt, and asked TheHusband to buy me an ACE bandage on the way home. Mostly to keep me from using it, as the ACE bandage is a big reminder, if nothing else.

It definitely affects the way that I type, and that could be an issue. It's a good thing that I am right-handed.

Well, mostly.

Monday, August 07, 2006

I think I learned a lesson today...

... but first, my day.

Almost everyone was there. CEO, Goofy Salesguy, Wannabe Salesgirl, NewSupervisor, OldSupervisor, both service technicians, new Project Manager, and HomeOfficeProjectManager. The only one missing was WelcomeBackProjectManager. She was smart enough to create her own deal in order to return. She wouldn't have to follow any of the established policies and she wouldn't have to come to the office very often. Oh, and they gave her a raise to return and paid for her to move back down here from New York. Oh, yeah, she got a deal.

Anyway, since my campadre in the South Florida office hasn't returned to work yet, and the Home Office campadre was off on Thursday and Friday of last week, I was completely unable to do any of my site-specific work. All emails were auto-forwarded to me, as well as any phone calls. Since I am ALWAYS willing to take one for the team, I accepted those responsibilities for those two days. Unfortunately, they forgot to un-forward the emails and phone calls today, when things were supposed to back to normal.

And then there was the whole IT-Orlando thing. I joke that I AM: I.T.-Orlando, because the I.T. department calls me to be their fingers in the office, mostly because I am usually the only one in the office everyday. But today it was, "Mikell, so that I don't have to deal with the language barrier with a Puerto Rican employee, can you wander over to Juan's (not his real name) desk and program his phone? Just do this, type this, blah blah blah, and you will be done."

Oh, if it were ever that easy.

What he told me to do took down the entire phone system for our office. In order to correct it, he said, "is there anyone there with a cell phone?" My answer, of course, was that "everyone in the office today has a company provided cell phone, except me. I'll call you back from one of them in a minute."

The irony is lost.

This went on, until the phone system was up, except mine and one other. The IP's were conflicting. I was unable to do my job. I could get calls and people one the other end could hear me, but I couldn't understand a thing they were saying. Another call to I.T. He was too busy to help me, natch.

He finally called me back when I was eating lunch. I told him he'd have to wait, as I don't get paid during my lunch time. So he sent me an email wondering when my lunch was over. This pissed me off, so I replied:

"Well, I technically take lunch at noon, but since so far today (it's 12:20) I've been interrupted by GoofySalesGuy once, by the UPS delivery guy twice, by the FedEx delivery guy once, and you twice, it might be a bit longer that 10 more minutes."

The reply I got back? "Who pissed in your wheaties today?"

Uhm... you, and just about everyone else.

Then there was this: ServiceTechnician Two asked me "What do you want me to do with this piece of equipment, that needs to be shipped back to the manufacturer because it doesn't work?"

Before I could tell him to stick it up his ass, he asked for an answer that WASN'T sarcastic. I guess he has figured me out...

So the lesson I learned today, way too late, is not to say (early in your employment) "I'll take care of that for you..."

Once you do, it becomes part of YOUR job, not theirs.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

This Weekend...

...has been a bit on the "ho-hum" side.

Friday, TheHusband made it to his plane on time. Mostly because I printed his boarding pass before he left. I told him to make sure he left early enough and not to check any baggage... since he was only going to be gone two night. I also asked him to pick up a coffee mug for one of my co-workers, as he is a big fan of the Iowa Class Battleships. Since TheHusband was on the New Jersey, I figure that maybe I can bribe my co-worker to fix the DVD player I installed on my desk top.

I was supposed to meet someone for drinks after work, but he didn't show up. Eh, I had a good time at my local watering hole anyway. I stayed a bit longer than normal expecting this person to walk in the door, but to no avail. Spoke with my Friday Friends (R) anyway. Made plans for "Saturday Night Out" since TheHusband was out of town.

Saturday, I went shopping. But it was the FUN kind of shopping. For someone other than myself. Well, actually, that's not totally true, since I bought season 3 of Smallville and a book for myself. While checking out at the last store, I was behind a very pregnant woman, who was paying for some piece of furniture with gift cards. A lot of gift cards. At one point, she looked back at me and apologized for taking so long. I giggled and said I had plenty of time (but thought to myself, she obviously didn't).

Then I went home, watched two or three disks of Smallville and waited for the phone to ring. TheHusband called saying it was cocktail hour. He was having fun, so many people had brought their spouses (and/or kids), and I was reminded how bored I would have been. The call for "Saturday Night Out" never came.

I woke up about 0230 today. I couldn't sleep anymore, so I did what any other red-blooded American homo would do... I put in another Smallville disk. Long about 1000, I decided that my chores weren't going to do themselves, so I took a TomWelling break. TheHusband called. His flight is screwed up. He doesn't know which airline to go to.

That man needs a babysitter every time he flies. THAT's why I printed his first boarding pass. But you can only do that within 24 hours of flight time, so for the return flight, he's on his own.

I may, or may not, have watched the scene with TomWelling in red lycra shorts - over and over again.

It is not 1930 and TheHusband has just called. He's in the garage at our local international airport, helping someone that left their lights on, by jumping their car.

I guess I should start dinner.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Work it, gurl...

Did anyone watch Work Out on Bravo last night?

I did. There was nothing, and by that I mean NOTHING else, on my basic cable TV to watch. I enjoyed it. Plenty of eye-candy, even if the main character is a girl. But she's a Dyke, so, there is that.

Anyway, there was a confrontation during dinner of her born-again Mormon of a mother and all of her friends in L.A. Hmmmm... a gym-owning Dyke in L.A. Do you think the dinner guests were mostly gay? You'd be right.

They attacked Jackie's mom on her views of gay marriage. I thought it was a bit unfair. Sure, I disagree with her views, but really. It was the dinner party's host's mother. Give her a break. After all, she didn't rant or rave, they asked her what her opinion was, then proceeded to bash her for it.
I told my mother I was gay in 1994. The reason I told her, not that we were close, was because I was home for a family reunion and I was considering moving "home" with TheHusband. So I said, "I'm thinking about moving here soon, and when I do, TheHusband (yes, I used his real name) will be coming with me. We are together, do you understand?

Blank stare.

"Momma, I'm gay. [HisRealName] and I are together."

Quothe Mikell's mother: "What about A.I.D.S.?"

-- Utter heartbreak--

I still haven't told her that I am HIV positive.
Back to the present.

If I held a dinner party where people said to MY mother what people were saying to Jackie's mother, I would stop passing the Cous Cous and declare the following:

"All of you. Get. Out. Now."

I completely forgot...

...TheHusband was leaving town this weekend.

I had to convince him to do it, though as I look back, it really wasn't that hard.

He is a Retired Naval Petty Officer (which, contrary to what Queerty believes, is NOT an officer, but an Enlisted rank). When one is in the Navy, I've come to understand, one gets attached to some silly boat-thing that one spends so much time in/on.

I like to cruise. Really I do. But this is just a little too much for me. Not the lack of women, which is actually a PLUS in my book (sorry girls, no offense) but staying that long in such a limited space.

Yuck. Sorry. No can do.

To TheHusband: Have a good time a the reunion. I dare you to stand on the bow and pronounce that you are The King of the World.

Really. I dare him.

UPDATE: I've preprinted his boarding pass, but I won't be driving him to the airport. I have to be at work. He hasn't packed a suitcase yet, and it's 10:00 the night before he leaves.


The Final Straw.

With all of my bitching about the office move and lack of chairs, desks, computers and phones, I finally realized what would get some action at the home office. And I swear, I didn't do it on purpose. I would have, but I never thought of it before.

On Tuesday, I was pulling yet another order for one of our service technicians to install on Wednesday. I was wandering through the maze of boxes I have on the floor, because I have no storage shelves in the new office/mini-warehouse, pulling equipment, placing it in a box, and tripped over a box sitting on the floor.

The box I was holding was worth over $4000. Dude, it takes me MONTHS to make $4000, after taxes, thank you very much. But that isn't what pissed me off, as thankfully, none of the equipment was damaged or hurt.

I ruined a pair of pants.

I know. So what, it was a pair of pants, you silly fag.

That wasn't the point. It could have been worse. Much worse. I could have broken my arm, my leg, my back, or more importantly [in my advancing years] my hip.

I got up, placed the box of equipment on the shelf where it was intended to be, brushed off my pants, checked for bruises, and walked back over to my desk. Then I grabbed my phone and dialed the C.O.O. of the company.

I am done pussyfooting around with this bullshit.

I told him what happened, and explained that if I HAD been hurt, so would the company. Not because I am not expendable which of course I'm not, but because if I HAD been injured, it would cost the company major bucks, and NOT go against my insurance. It would come out of the Workmen's Comp funds that my employer pays each payday. For the ambulance ride, the hospital stay, the in-home deep tissue massages with happy ending thank you so much therapy I would need, PLUS the wages that I would have to be paid while sitting on the couch watching soap operas and eating bon-bons recuperating.

THAT, my friends, is Ownership Thinking.

And he saw the light. Today, finally, he gave verbal approval to purchase $400 in shelving for my mini-warehouse. I compromised too, and ordered the size smaller of the shelf I wanted. And only ordered two of four that I think I need.

It is a start.